GUIDING YOUR CHILD THROUGH BAPTISM
Statistically speaking, the church has not done very well preserving the spiritual commitment of its youth. In fact, the average primary Sunday School class will hold onto only 20% of its students by the time they are in college. Now, certainly there are many causes, and plenty of blame to pass around, but a major reason is that we do a poor job of integrating the childhood decisions of baptism and church membership into a real life experience. To these children, baptism and church membership is so routine that they never really consider Christianity other than through a Salvation experience that happened when they may have been too young to remember. This concern must be shared by all, and should lead us to question how we can do a better job as families and as a church.
DO BAPTISTS PRACTICE BAPTISMAL REGENERATION?
Historically, the one thing that separated Baptists from Catholics and Protestants was the doctrine of baptismal regeneration. The question asked was, "Does baptism contribute in any way to one's salvation?" Those who practice infant baptism believe that it does possess some innate saving value, thus necessitating the "sacrament" as soon as possible after birth. Baptists who hold to salvation by faith alone (Titus 3:5) have always rejected this as salvation by works and thus unscriptural. But, do we really? If baptism plays no part in the salvation of our children, why are we in so much of a hurry to have our children baptized? The early Catholics and Protestants were rightly accused of forcing salvation upon the children. Yet too often we might be accused of forcing obedience! We agree that obedience is indeed an internal part of baptism, but for it to be more than a vain ritual, it must be meaningful as well, and leave a vital impact on one's life.
The intent of this brochure is to help parents guide their children through the important step of baptism, and to help parents understand the critical need of following up this decision through the growing up stage.
First of all, it is assumed that the reader understands the meaning of salvation, the symbolism of baptism, and the importance and procedure for church membership. By way of introduction we suggest the following fundamental conditions:
1. The parent is responsible and accountable for the spiritual welfare of their children. The local church has a custodial influence, only, and at its best must be found providing instruction and guidance to the parent.
2. It is natural for the untaught or undiscerning to think that performing some "ritual" will accomplish or contribute to one's salvation.
3. Children are not always able to differentiate between peer pressure, sibling influence, parental approval and genuine Holy Spirit leading.
4. Children are often lonely, especially when they are from an unsaved home, and will usually crave any attention or approval they can get.
WHAT ARE THE ESSENTIALS?
For the baptism of a child to be anything more than a ritual, the following truths must be
understood:
1. The child must be able to give meaningful testimony to his or her personal relationship
with Jesus Christ (Romans 10:9-10).
2. The child must understand that salvation is by faith, and baptism is without saving value
(Eph. 2:8, 9).
3. The child must be motivated by a desire to be obedient to the Lord (Mt. 28:19-20).
4. There must be evidence of Holy Spirit leading, not human pressure or even sincerity
(Gal. 5:18).
5. There must be a sense of seriousness to the decision, and not the customary levity at
having done "something fun and grown-up".
6. There must be parental follow-up so that the child will be taught the implication and
responsibility of church membership.
7. The child must understand the typology of baptism and how it relates to sin (Rom.
6:1-11).
1. The child must be able to give meaningful testimony to his or her personal relationship with Jesus Christ (Romans 10:9-10).
2. The child must understand that salvation is by faith, and baptism is without saving value (Eph. 2:8, 9).
3. The child must be motivated by a desire to be obedient to the Lord (Mt. 28:19-20).
4. There must be evidence of Holy Spirit leading, not human pressure or even sincerity (Gal. 5:18).
5. There must be a sense of seriousness to the decision, and not the customary levity at having done "something fun and grown-up".
6. There must be parental follow-up so that the child will be taught the implication and responsibility of church membership.
7. The child must understand the typology of baptism and how it relates to sin (Rom. 6:1-11).
It is this item that, for many, becomes a real stumbling block. Baptism dramatizes the death to the old nature, and life to the new nature. It pictures a changed attitude toward sin and a desire to walk in spiritual newness. Yet, it is often impossible to communicate this truth using the vocabulary of a young child; and as a result, many children find Christianity routine by the time they are 12 years old!
HOW OLD SHOULD A CHILD BE?
Every child matures at an individual level, therefore a set age might be unfair to a child
that matures early; while at the same time giving false assurance to the slow maturer.
Observation by pastors who counsel with children find that rarely is a child under the age
of 8-10 able to identify with the nature of sin in such a way as to make the picture of
baptism personally meaningful. In fact, it is often very hard to explain baptism to these
children in terminology that they can comprehend. The spiritual conflicts that this can
cause in the life of a child are many:
1. The child may be left with the feeling of attainment, and never really come to terms with
the need of future spiritual growth and maturity.
2. The child may later in life never be taught or be expected to confirm the church
covenant, Articles of Faith, or Constitution.
3. The child may not fully understand the reason for the Lord's Supper, making it a
formality.
4. The child may never come to appreciate the purpose for membership procedure. To
some young children this process could be troubling or confusing.
5. The child may one day assume voting and official rights, without ever taking inventory of
his or her personal qualifications to participate.
1. The child may be left with the feeling of attainment, and never really come to terms with the need of future spiritual growth and maturity.
2. The child may later in life never be taught or be expected to confirm the church covenant, Articles of Faith, or Constitution.
3. The child may not fully understand the reason for the Lord's Supper, making it a formality.
4. The child may never come to appreciate the purpose for membership procedure. To some young children this process could be troubling or confusing.
5. The child may one day assume voting and official rights, without ever taking inventory of his or her personal qualifications to participate.
GUIDING YOUR CHILD'S DECISION
Ultimately the decision of when to baptize a child is with the discerning parent. Yet, counseling with the pastor about the desire of the child is usually best before the child comes forward during the invitation. Sunday School teachers or children's workers should always refer inquiries to the parents and should always avoid coercing or pressuring a child to be baptized.
Many adults have been baptized a second time, realizing that they were baptized too young to understand. Others have been harmed by never really facing the commitment that is required by Jesus Christ. Still others have been spiritually harmed by simply practicing a meaningless ritual, bringing dishonor to the cause of Christ. In any case, children rarely question the advice to wait a year or two, until old enough to fully understand. If the child's heart is right, he or she will always ask again. Yet, if the child's motivation is not right--simply being baptized won't change it.
Besides the conflict that often rises with the child, parents themselves often become part of the problem in pressuring their children prematurely. Parents are often stricken with pride that their children excel at an early age, usually without any consideration given to what is best for the child.
HOW SERIOUS IS THE PROBLEM?
The long term retention statistics for our youth are almost too terrible to repeat. Yet, we believe that there is a cause. Too many children are encouraged by sincere parents and teachers to "grow-up" before being ready. As a result they grow-up knowing a lot of memory verses and Bible stories, and never come to terms with Christian commitment. Many children raised in a Christian home have made every important spiritual decision before they are ten years old, and then grow up feeling that there is little to add to what they have already done; even though it was done with a child's understanding. The result is apathy, complacency and lack of motivation to perfect the Christian life. Certainly our children deserve better than this! It is the intent of this brochure that we raise the level of expectation and commitment by insisting that our children be properly prepared and nurtured before their baptismal experience.
Many parents have testified that the best decision they ever made for their children was to insist that they wait, yet in our restless society, children are raised to expect instant gratification. The appeal of this paper is that parents at least give serious attention to the long-term implications to the baptismal experiences of our youth.
FOLLOW-UP IS A MUST
Children who do not have Christian parents are at a particular disadvantage, and it is
usually recommended that these children wait for baptism until they are at least 12 years
old. This is because parents have an important responsibility to follow-up by regularly
gauging the growth and progress of the children.
1. The parents should repeatedly rehearse the salvation message, making certain that their
child not only understands, but has personal assurance.
2. The parents should gauge the child's attitude toward sin, making certain that they
understand the relationship between baptism and disobedience.
3. The parents must govern the child's participation in the Lord's Supper, making certain
that they partake with the right purpose and spiritual attitude.
4. The parents must instruct the child concerning the Articles of Faith, so that they
understand the doctrinal beliefs of the church.
5. The parents must explain to the child the church covenant so that they know the moral
and behavioral standards of the church.
6. The parents must help the child understand the Constitution and how the church
conducts its business.
7. The parents must teach the child the importance of self-government and why it is
important to elect Godly leaders. As a young person turns 18 the parents should walk
through the election process to help them make wise choices.
8. The parents must help their child understand local church involvement, stewardship and
service. It should be easy for any discerning person to see that if this is not taught to our
children, we will raise a generation of church members that are spiritually dysfunctional.
It is expected that every parent willing to have their child baptized would accept the
responsibility of providing this continued guidance. The difference may well be the
difference between losing and keeping our children for Christ.
1. The parents should repeatedly rehearse the salvation message, making certain that their child not only understands, but has personal assurance.
2. The parents should gauge the child's attitude toward sin, making certain that they understand the relationship between baptism and disobedience.
3. The parents must govern the child's participation in the Lord's Supper, making certain that they partake with the right purpose and spiritual attitude.
4. The parents must instruct the child concerning the Articles of Faith, so that they understand the doctrinal beliefs of the church.
5. The parents must explain to the child the church covenant so that they know the moral and behavioral standards of the church.
6. The parents must help the child understand the Constitution and how the church conducts its business.
7. The parents must teach the child the importance of self-government and why it is important to elect Godly leaders. As a young person turns 18 the parents should walk through the election process to help them make wise choices.
8. The parents must help their child understand local church involvement, stewardship and service. It should be easy for any discerning person to see that if this is not taught to our children, we will raise a generation of church members that are spiritually dysfunctional. It is expected that every parent willing to have their child baptized would accept the responsibility of providing this continued guidance. The difference may well be the difference between losing and keeping our children for Christ.