THE IMPORTANCE OF MARRIAGE
Marriage is a divine institution, originated by God as he brought Eve to be joined to her husband in the garden of Eden (Gen. 2:18-22). It is not surprising then that the church has historically fulfilled an important roll in the planning and solemnizing of the marriage union.
The purpose of this informational item is to explain how our local church can help when you are planning a wedding. As will soon be observed, we have definite policies relative to marriage. This is because being involved in a marriage is one of the most sacred of all trusts committed to the church. In days when marriage is looked upon so casually by society, surely the church of Jesus Christ should be at the forefront in raising the standard from mediocrity.
Let it be said, however, that we are here primarily to serve, not to be served. Your spiritual needs are of primary concern to us, and we want to do all we can to provide ministry. Whereas the guidelines found in this brochure are designed to maintain the value and integrity of ministry, our pastoral staff is always ready and willing to visit with you about your needs. So dont hesitate to call if we can be of further help.
It should first be noted there are ways of being married, other than by a pastor. Those that do not have a meaningful spiritual experience with Christ and the local church, should not reasonably want to have a church wedding For this reason, society offers any number of ways to fulfill marriage requirements by a judge, civil magistrate or a Justice of the Peace . However, when a pastor is asked to officiate, it is assumed that a Christian wedding is desired, for this is the only type of service that the church offers. It should be understood that just repeating Christian vows does not make one a Christian; nor does having a pastor officiate assure Gods blessing on ones marriage. For this reason certain conditions must pre-suppose a Christian wedding; these will be explained later. But now, let us review the general requirements for a wedding.
There are four requirements before our pastoral staff or church will participate in a marriage ceremony:
l. It should be noted that our philosophy of ministry does not allow for the rental of our church facilities. Our facilities and staff may be utilized only when ministry in keeping with our objectives and standards can be achieved.
2. It is not our practice to participate or officiate in marriages between two unbelievers, or where one is a believer and the other is not (2 Cor. 6:l4). A Christian wedding is suitable only for those who give testimony of having accepted Jesus Christ as their personal savior, in order that God may give his blessing to the marriage.
3. Even though our church maintains a friendly and favorable relationship with people who have experienced marital divorce, it is our policy that the marriage must be the first for each marriage partner. As you may know, the Christian marriage vow states, "Till death do us part," thereby, representing permanence. It is our policy that it would be unbiblical and unfitting to repeat wedding vows previously spoken and then broken through divorce. However, when a marriage has terminated through death - the commitment was kept and a second marriage is acceptable under these circumstances and would be permitted.
4. All those desiring to be married must demonstrate that it is the result of genuine contemplation and planning. Marriages should not be entered into hastily or impulsively.
The pastoral staff is willing to participate in what might be called a private wedding held in the home, park or rented facility of your choice. This might be advisable for those who want a Christian wedding, but either do not desire a church wedding or may be unable to accept the conditions for a formal church wedding. We are always willing to discuss how we can help with your wedding plans.
The formal church wedding is reserved for those that are a part of the church family. It essentially is a public testimony and statement concerning ones relationship to Jesus Christ and His church. For this reason it is only right that certain standards be maintained, for ultimately these will become the basis whereby we establish the high calling of Christian matrimony. The following are usually expected for our church to allow a formal church wedding.
1. Counseling: It is expected that both marriage partners will participate in a period of Biblical counseling. It must be remembered that it is not our purpose just to marry people; but rather to establish a Christian home, built on Biblical principles.
2. Church Attendance: It is expected that those wishing a church wedding maintain an active identity with the church family. This must be shown by faithful church attendance observed over a period of time. The church sanctuary should not just be considered a comfortable place to have a wedding, but rather a place of worship where the entire church family can celebrate the special occasion.
3. Moral Purity: The entire atmosphere created by a formal church wedding is the uniting of two chaste people into one. Much of the typology and decor of a wedding depicts the uniting of a man and woman who have kept themselves morally pure for their wedding day. In some cases a private wedding may be more appropriate if the couple wishing to be married is not morally pure; In any case, changes will have to made in the ceremony and decor. It is expected that the couple discuss this with the officiating pastor so as to protect the sanctity of the occasion.
4. Marriage Regulation: A special booklet has been prepared titled "Planning Your Wedding", and is available upon request. This booklet explains how our church can help with the particulars of your wedding plans, and what regulations may apply.
5. Decorum: The wedding must conform to the worship standards of Emmanuel Baptist Church. This includes music, attire, conduct, and other areas that might reflect on the testimony of our congregation. It is expected that the reception, whether held in the fellowship hall or elsewhere, will not include the serving of alcoholic beverages or dancing, and will in every way conform to the standards that glorify the Lord Jesus Christ.
The high value that must be placed on a Christian marriage is shown in Eph. 5:22-28, where Christ is to His church as the groom is to his bride. Therefore it is our intent to be identified as a church that highly values the sanctity of marriage, for it is certain the institution of marriage will rise no higher than the church allows. We owe it to our future generations to teach by precept and example that marriage is a sacred and serious commitment. In fact, it might be said that the ordinance of marriage is the most sacred and compelling of all functions that the church is involved in.